Jan Moir Are You Ready To Order

Dining alone is a choice and a pleasure, not a last resort. Given the right surroundings, food and waiting service, it can be a contemplative, meditative and therapeutic way to lose yourself and a few hours in a big city. Solo diners are nothing out of the ordinary in London restaurants, particularly those attached to big hotels. So don't even think about feeling or looking out of place. You won't be. Other diners are far too interested in themselves to be bothered about you.

However, if you feel the need to take a comfort blanket in the form of reading matter, or actually do want to read, The Spectator or Private Eye are always the easiest to handle. You can pretend to be absorbed in "The Yobs" (in both magazines), anyway.

But I am a bad person. A copy of an industry trade mag such as The Caterer or Restaurant Magazine will completely freak out the staff.

Work reports are fine, but do remember that you and your digestive system are meant to be relaxing. Writing postcards or whatever, is OK-ish, just don't make it look like you're about to whip out a pot of glue, a sheet of stamps, your knitting or that photo album you've got to get into date order.

If being noticed is a matter of concern, then note that the less you do will attract the least attention. So enjoy the mental freedom that looking at the world, but not speaking to it, involves. Or do whatever you like. You're the one in charge. Why not knit, come to think of it?

Always book, so that the restaurant is given a chance to do its best for you, but if you feel uncomfortable about the table you have been given, say something immediately. No one expects the best seat in the room, but you can't enjoy yourself if you feel awkward or exposed and no decent restaurant should or would put you in this position. Make an early or late booking if you want to avoid crowds, although for many solos, both the anonymity and covert surveillance opportunities offered by a crowded dining-room are more life-affirming than a forest of empty chairs.

Whatever, celebrate the fact that you have left the deadening embrace of the lunchtime sandwich behind for once, order a festive glass of Champagne and prepare to enjoy yourself. It may seem decadent, but a table for one is almost always cheaper than a facial or a football ticket and provides much nourishment for body and soul.

We might as well start at the top. Tom Aikens's eponymous restaurant in Chelsea delivers some of the most exciting food to be had in London. On the £65 à la carte menu right now, with a £10 supplement, is an amazing starter of lobster salad with truffle – an oblong dish containing grilled native lobster, discs of truffle, lobster beignets and celeriac mousse, all drizzled with a herby, lobstery, truffled vinaigrette and you can, if you like, wrap the truffle around the lobster to make a little sandwich.

Also try scarily tiny milk-fed lamb cutlets accompanied by beige baby kidneys or shimmering golden scallops with a herb dressing suspended in clear, bright jelly. The £29 set menu features brilliant potato soup - duck consomme, spud treats - and other delights. Little extras such as shards of tuille served in a toast rack make it more than special. The room is quiet, the service is formal but warm and the friendly, award-winning sommelier can be relied upon to make an excellent choice on your behalf.

Meanwhile, Mark Sargeant is cooking up a storm as head chef in the 1930s-style dining-room at Gordon Ramsay at Claridge's. Recent encounters with both the set-price (£30) and à la carte (£55) lunch menu revealed real accomplishment and grace. From the first menu, there is a notable starter of smoked eel and a simple but really winning main course of roast pork fillet of unusually deep flavour, served with lentils and sweet little blobs of apple and onion purée – a perfect winter lunch dish.

An à la carte pudding of passion-fruit tart, sorbet and parfait was perfect in every way and almost too pretty to eat. The tables are well spaced and not open to the elements, despite the size of the room. Quite fab all round.

As is the Capital Hotel, where the £28.50 set lunch, cooked by Eric Chavot, is one of the miracles of modern London life. Ask for table six for a good view of the kitchen as they prepare your fish soup and lamb cassoulet. From a menu brimming with good things, I just can't recommend these particular dishes enough. Both are heroic in every way. There are always one or two stray foodsters dining here alone, so you'll fit right in.

While not strictly in London, table 11 at Monsieur Max in Hampton Hill is for solo diners only. Here is a real regal spot on a green leather banquette where you can enjoy its very proper cooking. Make your own Tour de France with pithiviers of Burgundy snails braised in Chablis, followed by Anjou squab pigeon en croute, stuffed with foie gras and truffle, served with a mushroom ravioli, braised button onions and port sauce. Rich, yes, but a bottle of Beaujolais Vissoux (£23) was up to the job.

Two more tables specially designed for the lone diner are number one at La Poule au Pot and number 6a at Clarke's. Don't try to spend money at La Poule au Pot; the more extravagant you get, the worse the quality of the food, for some weird reason. Stick to the good-value £16 set lunch for onion soup, quiches, roast lamb and flageolet beans.

Clarke's fresh, peerless dishes are delicious and table 6a is one of the nicest solo choices in town. I also like table 26 for a sunny lunch at Bibendum or absolutely anywhere at Le Gavroche for its £40 lunch deal, price inclusive of wine, water and coffee. Finally, in less formal vein, clamber aboard bar stools number four or five at Fino for either lunch or dinner. Enjoy the fine kitchen view as the team thunders out dish after dish of excellent tapas.

Admirably, the quality and standard of this basement tapas restaurant has not dropped one notch since they opened in March 2003. Clams with sherry and ham, grilled octopus, fluffy tortillas made to order, Jerusalem artichoke with piquillo peppers – it's Spanish food cooked by a French chef and it's all terrific.

• Tom Aikens, London SW3 (020 7584 2003). Claridge's, W1 (020 7499 0099). Capital Hotel, SW1 (020 7589 5171). Monsieur Max, Hampton Hill, Surrey TW12 (020 8979 5546). La Poule au Pot, SW1 (020 7730 7763). Clarke's, W8 (020 7221 9225). Bibendum, SW7 (020 7581 5817). Le Gavroche, W1 (020 7408 0881). Fino, W1 (020 7813 8010).